3rd Grade Orthodontics

Today "Javier" walked into the classroom and told me that he got something new for his teeth. He didn't use the word retainer, but based on the glimpse he showed me, I assumed that's what it was. He talked funny all morning with it, and I was a little bit suspicious, but he seemed a little embarrassed by it so I didn't ask to see it. He went to gym with the class, came back, and sat through 45 minutes of literacy before he asked to leave the rug to get a paper towel to put it away since, "The dentist told me I don't need to wear it all day." When he came back to the rug and I realized he had it wrapped up in his pocket, I asked to see it. That's when he began to move a little slower and as he unwrapped it he told me, "The dentist gave me one that looks sort of like a paper clip, I don't know why..."

And sure enough, he had bent and twisted a paper clip and stuck it in his mouth.


My lecture on why you never put paper clips in your mouth (especially for 2.5 hours at school) may have included some graphic details meant as scare tactics.

On a side note, remember how yucky retainers were??

A turn toward the good?

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you may have seen the good news.

One of my students (who is also one of my most difficult behavior-wise) is moving across the country tomorrow. If you were wondering how I felt about that (or even if you weren't, I'm going to tell you anyway), I think the huge smile on my face during his last school day today would let you know how I felt. He's a smart kid, and I know that if he came to school caring about his work on the days when we take the MCAS tests this spring he would probably pass and help my class' scores. But the fact that instead of participating in class he chooses to quietly swear in Spanish at other students who walk by him, makes baby noises during lessons that cause the rest of the class to fall to pieces, and does sexually inappropriate things to fences during fire drills makes me thrilled to have said goodbye for good to him this afternoon.

My class is by no means going to be the star class starting tomorrow. I'm down to 26 students, and I have 5 that I have serious behavior concerns about. One was suspended last week for a fight. Another boy stabbed a girl with a pencil while he was with another teacher. And a girl complained to me that another boy was talking about licking genitals today at recess. (In case you need a refresher, I teach 3rd grade. These kids are 8 and 9. How they know about oral sex, I have no idea.)

But I'm hoping and praying and crossing my fingers that tomorrow is a better day than any of the last 5 weeks have been.


Most days I wish this was allowed in public schools.

Homework is not optional in the 3rd grade.

Dear 3rd graders,

Here is a list of a few things you might not have known about 3rd grade. Maybe I forgot to tell you this information during the first week of school, or maybe you never learned about this in second grade. But this is how things run up in 3rd.

1. Homework is not optional. I know you said you have to go to church after school so there wasn't possibly any time for you to do your work, but school ends at 2:20 and you probably go to bed at 8:30. Church is not 6 hours long.

2. We have math homework every night. We have reading homework every night. Please don't ask me 8 times during the day, "Do we have math homework tonight?" Yes, we do. Every day. Until June 11th.

3. You may not take a running leap as we walk down the stairs as a class, in order to jump down the last 5 steps in a single bound. Maybe you like to do that at home, but there are 6 kids in front of you in line, and if you land on one of them I'm in big trouble.

4. When someone tells a story to the class about their old school named St. Mary's, it is inappropriate to yell out, "That's like Bloody Marys!"

5. Similarly, when I'm reading a book to the class, and I get to a funny illustration with people kissing on a roller coaster, it is not ok to scream with utter disgust, "They're making out!!"

6. I spent a lot of days in our classroom this summer, carefully figuring out how to set everything up. They didn't even pay me! See that poster that you're peeling off the wall during my math lesson? It took a long time to make and put up on our walls. If you draw on it or peel it off the wall, you won't be having recess today.

7. And on the same note, you'll be losing recess if you spent the entire lesson pinching the boy next to you. This isn't kindergarten.

8. Please, please, please be nice to your teacher. There are 27 of you. That's a lot. Your teacher is tired.