It doesn't really feel like it's summer vacation. I wore jeans and a sweatshirt today. And yesterday. And probably the day before. And for about 75% of this month. It's cold and cloudy and rainy and I hate it. Tomorrow is July and I still haven't been in the pool or to the beach.
But it also doesn't feel like summer because I'm not really working, which is surprisingly a very unsettling feeling. The past few summers I was either taking classes and doing some kind of teaching internship, or I taught summer school. While it wasn't exactly the same as during the regular year, it still felt like regular old work to me.
This year was the first year that I could maybe squeeze by financially during the summer without needing to have a full time summer school position. Oh, and I was totally stressed and lazy and unmotivated this spring to apply for any sort of summer school job. And after working the hardest I've ever worked over the past 10 months, did I REALLY want to spend the only 2 month break still writing lesson plans?!
The past few weeks I put together a few days of regular babysitting. The idea of wearing a t-shirt and flip flops and spending my day with the under 7 crowd, putting on sun screen and playing "ice cream store" and reading books sounded perfect. Today that's exactly what I did. (For the record, I played "ice cream store" for a total of close to 2 hours today...I ate a whole lot of imaginary rainbow slushes and the three year old special: Rockety Trout ice cream sundae.")
I'm just not really sure what to do on the days I'm not working. It's weird. Even though it's nice not having any kind of schedule, I feel like I should be doing something. I went up to the roof to read before dinner last night and I had an unsettling feeling in my stomach, like maybe I had literacy tests to correct or a math lesson to plan.
I'm sure I'll get used to this.
Probably sometime mid-August.
Just about when I have to get back into it all over again.
P.S.: My mom and I ran a race this weekend! Naturally, I rewarded myself with a snickers bar and 1/5 of the cookie dough from the batch I baked.
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